Wow this week flew by. We talked to so many people. We found a few new investigators and they have all been very different. One is very curious and has decided that it is time for her to find out if these things are really true,. Another just wants God in his life; another wants to know what it is that we believe and how we are so happy. All were so different.
There is one thing that has stuck out to me the most this week. The light that is within members who are living the gospel, and to those who are seeking for something, and those who have become bitter and dark inside. I never thought I would start to see the difference. Now I can see the pain that comes from starting to doubt. The joy that comes from living. I have had several opportunities to ponder on this. I never thought of what the impact is or could be from the Gospel. Sometimes it makes me want to shy away and not have to work so hard, that living the lifestyle of the world would be so much easier. Then I look at the blessings and the people who you can see in their life that they are blessed with happiness, eternal happiness. Not momentary bouts of laughter or pleasure. There are still difficulties even when we live the gospel. It is not a shield against the agency of others. It does protect us from dangers that we could inflict upon ourselves - temporally, spiritually, and mentally. As we strive to understand and apply the gospel into our lives then things start to change. But we have to want to change. There is nothing like trying to drag a friend, family member, or investigator to the light. It just doesn't work that way. There is no joy when it is done that way. It is a journey that we all have to take. We have to drink from the living waters ourselves. We have to kneel, scoop, and bring the water to our mouths. We are aware of the things that are happening around us. We are being humble enough to follow the will of the Lord. Sometimes we get stuck on the imperfections that are in us - thoughts really - 'I will never be a Relief Society President, I can't remember peoples names, and I don't have time to serve' 'I will never be a good missionary, I don't even know how to apply the scriptures into my own life' 'Rain keeps falling on me, I'll never be dry, ever again.'
Just know, that your thoughts are not unique. Someone has had the same exact thoughts that you have been thinking. They have questioned the same things that you are questioning. They have had good moments and bad moments, and if you still think that no one understands. You need to remember the Savior. He Understands all things. He has felt all things. We have to recognize this in our own lives. We have to Remember this on a daily basis. We have to live it like we know it, that is when we will start to feel it.
I feel like I have these little sparks of knowledge once in a while, but then with time, they start to fade. It is like Elder Uchtdorfs talk we will come to the point where we wonder if it even happened or how we could even believe in such a thing. Keeping a Journal of Spiritual experiences is very important. Keeping a Journal period is important. Do it, Do it Now. Make it a Habit to start to remember the Spiritual Parts of your life and making note of them so you can always remember them and your family will be able to learn about it too.
I love you all and I hope you are having a fantastical week. Sorry I didn't share much about the details of the week - who we talked to - or the funny stories that happened. Next Time!!!
Sister Karen Call