Monday, November 24, 2014

The End Came So Soon

Holla Familia,
I can't believe this is the last week! It feels like just yesterday that I came out on my mission! Oh but how much I have learned from that moment to now.
This week has been a harder one, because several of our investigators dropped us, and we have been doing lots and lots of finding in rather chilly weather.   We did find a few potentials but no firm return appointments. But I am so grateful for my companion Sister Snow, because she is boss at having a good attitude about tracting. We help each other move forward when things get hard, but it is wonderful having a companion that doesn't mind going tracting for three hours in 20 degree weather and we can still laugh at the end of the day and have fun.
The main thing I learned this week was from a few people that we spoke too.
It is interesting to see how completely content people can be with their circumstances. Seeing the Homeless offered jobs and housing, but they choose not to accept it and to continue in what they are doing; Living off what other people make. Seeing other Christians go to church and talk about Christ and becoming better, but as soon as they get home and someone mentions Christ or learning more about things that can improve their life and family - they flee or snap back about how crazy that is or how someone is going to go to Hell for their beliefs.  
I wanted to title this week: "Falling Into a Pit of Despair Without Knowing It."
But then I thought how that might not sound so good for those who just glance at the title of things. But that is how I have felt about a lot of things I have seen and thought about this week. I have discovered the sadness that comes from people who reject us without even knowing who we are or what our message is. Or they think that they know what our message is and that they know more about our beliefs than we do. There is one person that comes to mind as I think of people Falling into Despair without Knowing it. I read over this individuals shoulder one day as they were writing (which is probably really snoopy, but I was very mesmerized  with her handwriting) Anywho, she said that she was completely content with her life, and that she had no worries. None at all. Wow, she is either really optimistic or she doesn't understand what true happiness is. Well, we had an opportunity to talk to her later this week, and she told us about all these problems that she was having. When we were talking to her, I just felt so sad. All of these things that she is going through are completely her mistakes and the things that she does. She is causing this despair to come upon herself, but she doesn't see it as something wrong. She just sees it as another part of life.
I have discovered that no matter how much I try to tell someone that what they are doing isn't going to bring them happiness or anything, they have to be open to receiving that message. We can be so narrow minded at times. That everyone is wrong, or that there are no answer yet discovered to my question, or whatever. It is our decisions and our actions and the revelation that we receive from God that helps us with our decisions. But we aren't willing to give things a try - Too good to be true, scam alert, crazy cults, etc. There are so many things that prevent us from reaching our full potential because the wall of doubt comes and hits us out of nowhere! I can't help people who don't want to be helped, that includes myself.
I have been trying for so long to do what I want to do. What I think will bring me happiness. I don't think I ever realized what happiness was until I came on my mission and I have actually seen the Gospel of Jesus Christ change peoples lives. It has changed my life. I have discovered how important Scripture Study is, I have discovered the importance of prayer, I have discovered the importance of going to the Priesthood Leader that is over you when you are struggling. I have discovered that I am not alone in this life. That I have Christ beside me at all times - sometimes I turn my back on him, but he will never turn his back on me. His arms of mercy are always extended. His arms of love. Waiting. I have discovered the importance of Righteous Desires.
I am so grateful for this Blessing that I have had to serve a mission. I hope to continue forward in Faith. Doubt Not, Fear Not. 
I hope you are all doing well and ponder the possibilities of this life and becoming greater!
I love you!
Sister Karen Call

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